They’ve Got a Pill for That

Written by BG Howard

May 10, 2023

Time has finally convinced me that it doesn’t allow favors for any of us as I’ve realized the necessity of living a generally healthy life. This would, invariably, include eating well and this required me to take a hard look at my appetite. Like most, I felt that my diet wasn’t all that bad given the fact I’m not a big junk food eater, fast foods have been stricken from the intake list for a number of years and soft drinks are a big road block in the quest to maintain healthy nutrition habits.

Even with the relatively stringent self-imposed restrictions as it relates to foods I consume, a particularly unappealing bulge was recently noticed about half-way between my chest and knees. Since a lightening strike had sent my stationary bicycle to the great fitness room in the sky several months ago and I’d not taken the initiative to purchase another, I simply reasoned portion control would be a sufficient method for maintaining a relatively decent weight and permissible physic. This is the point I reiterate that part about the unappealing bulge, which suggests quite the contrary.

Then, one day while researching subject matter on the internet concerning publication options for a recently finished manuscript, I happened across an awesome diet program. (It’s not surprising that every new “breakthrough” diet is billed as the best thing since sliced bread.) Several minutes were exhausted with me reviewing the literature and following each link as directed in order to get a full understanding of the program’s requirements and, most importantly, the benefits. Ordering the plan at a “special introductory price” of $169 would grant me their DVD, program guide and another limited time offer made available for just an additional $9.99.

According to this incredible program, a person could eat whatever they wanted while only being required to maintain “sensible” portion control and undertaking a “moderate” exercise program. They advertised calorie counting would become a thing of the past and there wouldn’t be any restrictions on carbohydrates, which our bodies convert into sugar.

Needless-to-say, I was out of $180 dollars and received the physical transformation literature in three to five business days. They’re even diligent enough to send two to three emails throughout the course of each day listing things one can do to loose weight that aren’t included as part of the information received in the mail. It would have made more sense to me for them to simply charge $19.95 for an internet subscription and refund the other $160 of my otherwise purposed money.

The shameful fact of membership in this diet program is that it has proven to be little more than an effective platform for marketing every type weight loss supplement the company wishes to peddle to its unwise victims. During the fewer than four weeks I’ve subscribed to the program there have been forty-four emails transmitted from the “support team.” Oddly enough, the majority of the communications contain reports of breakthrough information about new products that offer scientifically proven help with the process of weight loss.

There’s a pill that will significantly increase your body’s metabolism, another which aids in digestion, one to improve circulation and finally, yet another that prevents the body from absorbing those dreadful carbohydrates. All these miracle wonders are available in tablet form for a limited time at the drastically reduced introductory price of $39.98 for a one month supply. But if you “Act today” and are one of the first 500 callers, they said, you qualify for the “reserved” special pricing of six bottles at $24.95 each. I’ve often wondered how the contracted personnel at these various call centers, who are busy reading the pre-prepared scripts know when ads run in the different time zones, on which networks, and who keeps count of the number of callers to determine when five hundred customers have placed an order.

It’s even more remarkable that the dietary supplements are conferred as being “all natural” in composition but one of the email transmissions specifies the supplement’s qualities are “enhanced” in their laboratories to produce optimum benefits. There are honestly times when it does require an hour and-a-half for me to watch 60 Minutes but my understanding is that anything produced in a lab certainly does not qualify as an all natural product given that “natural” is exactly that; from nature.

This day and age, one can purchase a pill for virtually any desired outcome whether it’s for the benefit of weight loss, weight gain, hair growth, hair removal, pain relief, high blood pressure, low blood pressure or poor blood circulation. If there’s a particular remedy you seek and it’s not yet available, simply stay tuned because, in all probability, they’ll have a pill for that within the year. I could be wrong but it’s just something to consider.

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